Text 20 Apr 5 notes


at the end of this school year I’m seriously considering hosting a ranger’s apprentice party

what do you guys think? ideas for what to do if I did do that as well!


archery contest, drink coffee, play hide and seek in the woods and if people have camo wear that.  And then you could all get cloaks because cloaks are epic.  and if you’re crafty find oakleaves and dip them in metallic paint to make oakleaf necklaces.  knife throwing lessons.  party games like truth or dare but if you don’t answer/do the dare you have to drink straight espresso or something.  horseback riding lessons.  there are so many possibilities!

Photo 20 Apr 18 notes oh hey that’s me!

oh hey that’s me!

Text 20 Apr 15 notes Ranger’s Apprentice Pick Up Line


"You don’t need the password to ride me."



Hey, all you beautiful butts. Yeah you, I need to know who’s there and what not.

I need to know who to stalk.

Where I can find all the RA.

Help me.

The RA tag only has so much

please please please spaz out to me about RA

Text 20 Apr 5 notes


yoooooo I had another Ranger’s Apprentice idea!

Halt is assigned to help Will and Maddie with shutting down a group of highwaymen in a fief, but there’s a DUN DUN DUN traitor in the Ranger Corps that tells the highwaymen that they’ll be there and they end up getting captured.

And it turns out that the leader is a former ranger apprentice who was accused of selling secrets to Morgarath and fled after he was formally, dishonorably discharged but before he could be arrested and sentenced to death for treason, but to this day he insists that his mentor had him framed and that the investigation was handled incompetently.

Maddie ends up believing him, turns out he’s telling the truth and the traitor is the leader’s former teacher, who the former ranger’s been working with for years to build up a case against him and get him arrested.

Cue a bunch of chaotic good loser highwaymen who help old ladies with their groceries and farms and shit working with scruffy rangers.and a sixteen year old girl to bring down a ranger traitor.

Text 20 Apr 4 notes


Okay, I feel like I’m flooding the tag with vague story ideas that are never going to be written or see the light of day otherwise but HEAR ME OUT.

Princess Madelyn the Snotty Little Drip becomes Queen Madelyn the Wise after her mother’s death, and ascends as queen with her prince-consort, the eldest son of the current Oberjarl. They have twin daughters, the elder one is crazy bonkers in the Potema Septim the Wolf Queen sort of way; she successfully fools everyone into thinking she’s lovely and great and only her sister and MAAAAAAAAAYBE a few other people know she’s crazy bonkers.

But the younger twin goes off to become a ranger until the elder twin poisons Madelyn to try and usurp the throne and she pushes her claim as regent until Madelyn recovers (which if she has her way will be approximately never) and everyone’s like “oh holy shit, okay, Ranger one, you need to take over because your sister’s a psycho”, so they lead a coup and she becomes heir-apparent while her sister gets taken to an asylum.

But omg Queen Madelyn becomes this tiny little silver-haired fox woman with a walking stick because her leg’s been acting up but she uses it to quietly rap the shins of offending nobles.

And she’s a bit like Lady Tyrell in that she’s very snarky and great at verbal sparring and she knows how to raise an eyebrow like no other monarch before or since.

Text 20 Apr 23 notes



I’m having a party to celebrate my promotion-my new title is now Ranger Corps Official Sex Ed Teacher. There has been growing concern by Crowley that we need such a title because, well, they don’t give The Talk in the ward

oh god gilan coming to the cabin and sitting will down after his first few years of training, nodding at halt who hides a blush and huffs a gruff, “i’ll be back in a few hours”

and will is like ‘what is going on did i do something wrong oh god’ and gilan is like ‘no no no. i am here to tell you about…. the sex.’

and will kinda gives him this look and is like… ‘gilan what about the sex what do you think i don’t know i’m 17’

and gilan is like ‘how the heck do you know anything’ and will is like ‘i have EARS’ and gilan just nods and pretends to have expected that

but then Gilan is still a little flustered and thinks he has to do his job, so he goes through the Talk all red and blushy, and Will makes it harder on him by teasing him and asking him to explain things…. “what do you mean by that, exactly?” and then sometimes corrects him too

Text 20 Apr 24 notes Alternate Titles For the Royal Ranger


Ranger’s Apprentice: The Royal Brat

Ranger’s Apprentice: Your Favorite Character’s Probably Dead

Ranger’s Apprentice: Will Has a Beard

Ranger’s Apprentice: Everyone’s A Lot Meaner

Ranger’s Apprentice: She Brought Her Maid I Swear To God I’m Not Even Joking

Ranger’s Apprentice: Halt’s There For A Dozen Pages

Ranger’s Apprentice: Will Had Severe Depression For Over a Year and No One Cared Beyond the Fact That He Was Too Busy Grieving To Be Awesome

Ranger’s Apprentice: Seriously, Everyone’s a Dick

Text 20 Apr 9 notes

handwritingofgod asked: Seriously though, I was so irritated at Madelyn during the first half of the book that I didn't even realize how obnoxious everyone was to Will. Like, his wife was fucking murdered by a psychopathic bandit and he's GRIEVING and he obviously has a very serious case of DEPRESSION and everyone's like "OMG GET OVER IT AND DO YOUR JOB, HOW CAN YOU EVEN THINK OF HUNTING DOWN THE BANDITS THAT KILLED YOUR WIFE, HOW HORRIFIC!"



i didn’t even realize it until i read your post but yeah wow???

i think i’ve talked about this before but here is my version:

horace dies. no no no don’t leave hear me out. a week after cassandra becomes queen an assassin manages to poison horace’s food— and he never let servants taste it first because he couldn’t stomach someone dying because someone else wanted him dead. so horace dies. will’s best fucking friend and cassandra’s husband and maddie’s dad and halt’s close friend and gilan’s close friend and alyss’s childhood friend and jenny’s childhood friend and the kingdom’s favorite knight and king and he’s gone. just like that.

imagine the devastation. people around the kingdom getting the news and not quite being able to process it, like ‘did i hear you right? horace altman is dead?’ because he can’t be dead. he’s survived so much and a fucking plant powder took him out. 

and imagine will, oh god will. he’s inconsolable. they all are. will and alyss coming to the castle for the funeral and just collapsing when they see the casket. cassandra’s face is puffy and read and she’s crying constantly, maddie hasn’t left her room since she heard. and halt’s eyes are red like he’s been crying and gilan is still in shock and will and alyss can’t take it. they both want to leave their services and halt has to convince them to keep working, that they have to prevent more deaths like this

and god, imagine the guilt. secret assassination attempts are the rangers’ business. they’re supposed to stop shit like this.

fast forward months later. alyss is coming to terms with it, buried herself in her work. gilan decided to ignore it. he forces himself to forget it all but at night sometimes when he thinks, ‘no. that still can’t have happened.’ cassandra wanted to leave the throne, but halt wouldn’t let her, taking a temporary position at the castle to help her through. they’re getting through it, supporting each other. he’s always been a father figure to her.

but will and maddie? maddie is barely out of her room, except at night to run around, sneaking and picking fights with boys in the nearby villages. being a fighter, like her daddy. not an honorable one like horace, she knows that, but she doesn’t know how to deal with it any other way. 

will is trying to hunt down the assassins. he can’t deal with the fact that they’re out there, probably gloating that they took down the king. and he’s refusing orders, denying missions. 

and when cassandra finds out about both of them she doesn’t know what to do, halt talking to her and gilan coming up with the idea to put them together. let maddie be a fighter like she wants to be and maybe help will come to terms with it. not replace horace for either of them, but maybe let them start feeling again, you know?

cue book plot (only with maddie being angry and refusing to listen to will because she thinks he’s trying to replace horace)

Everyone’s so busy trying to hold themselves together or Cassandra together that they don’t realize Will and Maddie are falling apart at the seams before it’s almost too late. 

Maddie would be like Arya post-GOT. Angry and violent and borderline feral with grief and rage. Will would be grim and depressed and utterly alone, what with Halt at Castle Araluen and Cassandra busy healing and being queen and Alyss throwing herself in her work and Gilan just disassociating from it all. 

Alyss and Will’s relationship is on the rocks because Alyss may be coming to terms with it but Will is NOT and that’d be a strain on anyone’s marriage, and they have fights and say things they don’t mean.


/cue the last part of Do You Want to Build a Snowman, except it ends with hugs instead of being sad and alone and separated by a door of self-loathing, fear, and shitty parenting/

Photo 20 Apr 11 notes ranger-corps:

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